If Only You Could, Letter to God

If only you could,
if only you could sit here with me
Stay for a while and tell me 
The times I've hurt you


Please tell me,
Do I hurt you when I dislike myself, 
the days i feel with no energy,
does it hurt you that it makes me fall into depression,
please tell me, that when I feel lonely, you wish I knew
you wish for me to know that you're here with me
I know you are here....


If you would?
could you tell me if it hurts when I ignore someone, would you?
could you tell me if your in pain when I'm in sorrow, would you?
could you tell me, if it stabs your heart when words don't come nice, would you?
could you tell me if it makes you cry when I am feeling hopeless, would you?
Please tell me, does it make you mad, when I miss-carry my life, would you tell me?


Please forgive me when, 
When I tend to chase what I thought materials made me happy, does it make you come in anger?
Do you cry?  when I reject you and choose to go my on ways?
When I treat someone less, do you cry? could you tell me?
When I choose to not to give a beggar on the streets, do you cry for not giving anything? 
do you judge me back for judging and not believing? Please tell me, does it hurt?
When I look at a prostitute and kill her with my judgmental look, does it kill you too? 




Oh lord, please tell me, 
The times when I lost respect for myself, did you hate me? 
When dishonesty knocked on my door and I let it in, did you come in anger?
When my solution was to take something without asking, did you feel hopeless?
When I smoked cigarettes, did I irritate your throat?
When I chose to inhale Cocaine, did I it hurt when I broke I few vessels?
When I chose to go out parting and drinking, did I make you go dizzy when I got drunk?


Lord, tell me when I used needles, how much pain did I cause you?


Oh lord, please tell me, 
How dishonest was I to think I love myself  and mistreated myself at the same time?
Tell me, how much of an ignorant rebel was I? How many times I made you unhappy?
How unfaithful was I? when I chose not to kill myself...


Oh lord, please, instruct me, guide me and drive me to never hurt you again...


Please, teach me oh lord, to not hurt you, but to please you.


Please, forgive me and teach me to forgive.


Please, may your love transform me and help me not to be loved but to love.


  Oh Lord, I thank thee for having mercy upon this sinner and make him walk with Jesus  by faith.
All honor, blessing and power be unto you Oh God.






"For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin.For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. If then I do that which I would not,
I consent unto the law that it is good. Now then it is no more I that do it,
but sin that dwelleth in me.For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,)
dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me;  
but how to perform that which is good I find not.
For the good that I would I do not:  but the evil which I would not, that I do.
Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it,  but sin that dwelleth  in me. I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me."
Romans 7:14-21 


Amen.
Blessings.